I guess I will never hear from her again, wish I knew why, wish I could understand what is/was going on in her mind. Wish I could persuade her that it could be amazing, wonderful... but I guess I never will be able to. Keep thinking about getting in touch and maybe, nearer her birthday in July, I might send flower...why I don't know, am I just torturing myself with rejection. She has other men who profess undying love to her, one of her old colleagues and she just leads him on, "for friendship" HA!
She would probably do the same to me... but I wouldn't let her. Is it me or is it her... is she searching for something that isn't there... is she after total control... will she find love in her hear for someone else. I know I could have done more, but I don't think it would have been enough for either of us. She wanted so much and I just wanted love, neither of us got what we wanted. I just got a broken heart, loss of faith and realisation that you really can't trust anyone... I have no idea what she got. I think I accept what has gone on, but there are so many unanswered questions... ans such a loss... my best friend, lover, confidant and future wife... acceptance is so hard!
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