All I ever wanted was...

All I ever wanted was someone whom I loved, someone who loved me, a family, a great place to live, a good business and someone to enjoy it all with, with enough income to spend time with them all.
Is this too much to ask?
My ex-wife just left one day after 14 years together and now she too just cuts off so instantly.
Is it me?
What have I done, what do I do, how can I be with women whom I adore and for so long and hey just leave... seemingly no feeling or remorse.
How can I ever trust anyone again ?
I had such faith and feel abandoned by God - 'ask and you will receive' - I asked and he has denied me this. I prayed so hard and long and finally I thought that God had delivered the answer to my prayers - she was the one, I could now develop the business, and eventually we could all move in together and I could live a truly thankful, happy life. I loved the fact she was close to her family, I always felt that in modern society we forget what is important. The fact that she was Muslim was not a problem either as my beliefs were for one God, it didn't matter what you called it, so this too was not a problem. In fact, often I felt the Islamic way held higher values and moral, I loved the intensity of family and the total loyalty - ha... what loyalty!!!
I wanted to have a long happy marriage with kids, grand kids, a home that was stable and a place for the family to feel secure and happy an oasis of love.

I really thought this, despite the divorce this was my chance, perhaps my last chance to finally grasp my dream. I am 45 and thought I still could celebrate a silver wedding with someone whom I loved and was my soulmate. I dreamt of big family lunches, some in the sun al fresco, filled with laughter and smiles. Perhaps this is my problem...just dreams...just dreams and hopes...backed by faith, a faith which is lost and without it what do I have, a cruel world which I am not sure I want to live.

Will she now have this with someone else. I have such mixed and distressing feeling. I love her so much I don't ever wish her harm, but i just can't find it in my heart to wish her well. perhaps thee is a higher purpose, a higher force, that I just can't comprehend. But I thought there was a God of love, a God of compassion... I see no such things.

Show me a sign... give me some hope... I am at my lowest and all around me seems, instead of offering a helping hand, I get kicked and kicked again. Is this self pity, I just don't know or understand anymore. Please God help me... show me...I am asking such little...please