Coffee shop ramblings...

Still can't stop my rambling mind . Despite what all the books say about not contacting your ex I still find myself desperate to do so! Aim planning to change - have now not had a drink for a week and have a weigh in at the diet club . I think that perhaps, just maybe if I can physically show the changes just maybe there's hope ... Or am I setting myself up for another disappoitment? Despite all research to say I should let go I don't want to !!! Surely it's an unreasonable mind - I want prove all the books wrong and show LOVE can conquer all - am a a naive fool - probably - but surely we need people who hope and pray and believe ? My mind races for all thoughts of how I can change and makes things work - then fel ready when I realize she has moved on - dating other guys . Bitterly I pray she meets idiots and prats who treat her badly and then just maybe she will realize and appreciate what we had - please !!!