Do we really know anyone?
I had been with this person for 18 months and thought I knew all about her, or at least thought I knew a fair bit about her, it was a fabulous journey getting to know her and thought we were akin on so many levels, both morality, loyalty and integrity, these were the traits that I really attracted me to her in the first place.
So how can I not have realised what she was capable of, how did I not see the coldness the matter of factness, the ruthlessness of being dumped and her moving on so quickly, it seems so out of character with the person I had spent so much time with, loved so much and wanted to spend my life with... is it my perception, is it I just don't get people and how they think.
I find the whole scenario so difficult to comprehend and therefore can't trust my own decision making ability. I have been looking at engagement rings again and still pondering whether to try, one last time. I have never asked anyone to marry me and she is the one, should I? I keep running it through my mind so many many times, am I being stupid and not accepting he situation or should I just not accept it and go with my instinct and ask her anyway, even knowing I am risking such heart break and rejection again - and could I ever trust her, could I ever put my self at risk of her just running out again.
Perhaps it's my fear from my ex wife, she left after 15 years together, overnight, with my children and left me destitute as she had been planning her new life for some time, not paying bills and stealing the money. She was an alcoholic and I always thought it was because of this the way she had acted, but again, I see my soulmates actions and think, its just the same - totally cut off without compassion, empathy and remorse - is it me, have I chosen badly, or are all women like this, can we trust and do we ever really know anyone?
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