I had the most beautiful dream... I dreamt she was begging me to come back to her. It was so real and for a moment I felt truly happy... until I woke, woke to tears and the realisation that it's only in my dreams and sleep I seem to have solice from the pain... wish I could sleep forever.
Why did I send those emails. Thinking back to last weekend, full of drink and without any sleep, I send email, email full of anything to get a reaction, even her hating me was better than apathy and I really shouldnt have signed up to the dating site. I thought just maybe if I created someone who was her ideal man and the proved not to be ideal, or gave her advice about how she needed time, or what she was missing out on having found someone, she may come to her senses and realise what we had was good and could of been amazing, just with time efort and compromise. Everyone needs to compromise, we had love, why can't this be enough... the rest can be worked through... love conquers all... doesn't it, or so I thought. Rose tinted dreamer living a life for love... am I, I just don't know anything, I feel numb.
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