Thirty five miles on my bike... seventeen there, a bit of shopping and a coffee and seventeen back, through beautiful, sunny countryside with friends. Feel so tired now, had a hot bath and some food and just wish it all had been with her. She would have loved the day, doing and countryside and exercise, if only I had snapped out of my depression, pulled myself together, planned, acted and sorted myself out, we could have been now cuddling on the sofa together after a fabulous day. I feel better for doing it but now sad, empty and very alone. All I want to do is share it with her, tell her about it, plan to do it with her and spend the night chatting to her. I miss her voice, her smile and her laugh.
I can't help wondering, who she's with, what she's doing and whether she ever spares me a thought... at least I should sleep well and long... hoping for happy dreams to contrast with the meloncholia inside.
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