Faith...

Love is an act of faith,
and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.

Maybe...

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her...

Maybe...

Hope, dream, pray, love...

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.

True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.

Doing...

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of doing something, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we have.”

Frederick Keonig

Your face...

show me your face
i crave
flowers and gardens
open your lips
i crave
the taste of honey
come out from
behind the clouds
i desire a sunny face
your voice echoed
saying "leave me alone"
i wish to hear your voice
again saying "leave me alone"
i swear this city without you
is a prison
i am dying to get out
to roam in deserts and mountains
i am tired of
flimsy friends and
submissive companions
i die to walk with the brave
am blue hearing
nagging voices and meek cries
i desire loud music
drunken parties and
wild dance
one hand holding
a cup of wine
one hand caressing your hair
then dancing in orbital circle
that is what i yearn for
i can sing better than any nightingale
but because of
this city's freaks
i seal my lips
while my heart weeps
yesterday the wisest man
holding a lit lantern
in daylight
was searching around town saying
i am tired of
all these beasts and brutes
i seek
a true human
we have all looked
for one but
no one could be found
they said
yes he replied
but my search is
for the one
who cannot be found

Change...

The only certainty in life is change... we are all going through a process of change and need to embrace this one certainty in life.
Today I have been on my diet for 5 weeks and i have changed -  I have lost over 2 and a half stone - that's thirty pounds - six large bags of sugar (see below - try picking up six bags and see how much that is!) and feel so much better. I still have a long way to go, as now this change needs to be permanent, sustained and improved upon.


My sadness is there as there is no one to share this with...but again this is change and have started to get on with accepting this situation and accept that this, for now, is a change I have to go through.


I still wish things had been different, but I also accept I can't make someone love me, no matter how much I loved them and hope that one day that may change. I just need to get on with things, the irony now is I have a plan and am working to implement it. It's not easy and I keep meeting obstacles on a daily basis, but now don't find them insurmountable and strive for different solutions for those problems. 
The happiness thing I am still working on and still feel a deep sadness, but this too will pass and change will happen. I wish I could understand why this happened, but again have to accept that I probably will never know.

I will always love you... my soulmate... bye sweetie x o x


One day my dream will come...