A sick mind...

It's true I have a sick mind, one of the last email she sent me said I had a sick mind, ok, i was bloody stupid and very drunk, but sick... only love sick... sick off thinking about her every moment of every day, sick of the pain inside my heart, sick of knowing my soulmate is seeing other people, sick of re-reading the words ... I am so glad it wasn't you in the end. Everytime I read them again and again it pierces my heart.

I would gladly make a fool of myself time and time again to make you smile. And yes I would love to move on but not with dignity, with pain, sorrow and remorse knowing the common sense I lack has let you slip through my fingers and it hurts, hurts so much and so long. And how can you find you soulmate on a dating site when I know deep down in my heart it is me.

I am that loser wallowing still in self-pity and a victim, but you still are the love of my life, but are so cruel. I only wanted love, I only wanted to share our lives, yes I make mistakes, yes I am foolish...but no one will love you more...I guess as ever love is just not enough.
Why can't you just see sense, why can't you just ring me, it can all be sorted out... I will forgive you, always totally.
You can't find the love of your life because it's me... please god